Tuesday, 26 December 2006


MY blog is closed indefinitely..
Thanks for being there when i needed support..
Sunday, 10 December 2006

Wonderful Women

I recently had a trip home, and coincidently during whole of journey a woman sat beside me.. I met some wonderful women along the way. Let me tell you, why each one of them was special..

1. A very young girl, still studying in school started the journey with me. She wanted to build a career of her own and asked me a lot of question about getting admission and kind of preparations to do. I was very impressed by her ambitions. At her age, I wasn't even sure what I wanted to do in my life!! Forget about a college, I hadn't even decided on the stream I would follow..
She left after about half an hour.
2. Then a village women sat beside me. She was illiterate, had her face covered with dupatta and was the shy-est person I've ever met. Her voice was so low, I had to constrain my ears to know she was asking about time.. But, when the bus-conductor tried to charge her more for smaller route, she was very adamant on NOT giving a rupee extra.. I thought she will let it go after a few words, but she did not.. She argued with the conductor and let him return the balance..
3. After her a very very aged lady sat beside me.. She was so amazed at knowing that I am traveling alone, without a male escort :) She thought it was wonderful and acknowledged it is all because of studies.. :) She later commented if she was educated, she also might have needed only shoes and some money to travel all on her own and then she smiled so much, as if pleased in thinking of herself as an independent soul.. I felt nice after meeting her.. :)
4. After her another aged lady sat beside me.. Now she was traveling alone and I was worried will she be able to make it to her destination.. She was so old that her hands trembled all the time.. She told me she was visiting her sister and frequently made such trips :) I hope I too have such vigor left in me when I reach her age..
5. In the last part of my journey, a mother with her one-and-a-half yr old daughter was with me.. She absolutely doted on her daughter and her daughter was the naughtiest child.. Stood on her lap, danced, jumped and was hyper active.. Not once that woman lost her calm.. She patiently asked her to sit, whenever she did something outrageous.. I have seen mothers slapping and scolding their children at such times, but her patience amazed me.. :)

And so my journey ended and I reached my home sound and safe.. And apparently this was my last bus journey.. My sem will soon end, my parents will come to pick me and then I'll live in Delhi for another 6 months before joining Symantec in pune :)
Wednesday, 6 December 2006


Well, HAPPY BUDDAY to my blog :) Its been an year since i started blogging.. made so many friends here... All your comments, disagreements or agreements :), anecdotes from your personal life, inspirational words, jokes, and everything else helped me grow in many ways..I LOVE YOU !! :) And i love this blogspot page of mine :)
Thursday, 30 November 2006

window to the new world

Only about 15 days left in this institution, of which i have written so much in past one-and-a-half year.. I have showed my dislike towards this place, i missed my Delhi a lot.. I missed the happening culture.. I missed carefree frens, who wont sit n study throughout the day.. I know i missed so much of my old life..
But now as i look back, i feel i am going to miss the quiet life i have been living since i joined here.. I feel so much mature, i feel old in some sense, i feel grown up.. I feel detached from some relations, i feel elated to realize i'll have my first salary in my hand soon.. I feel a mixture of joy and nostalgia.. I know i'll miss my frens from here.. Initially i never thought i'll be able to make so many friends.. Yesterday i spen 90% of my farewell time in clicking pics with all the people i made frens with.. i did not even have a decent dinner :D i was so absorbed in getting every one's pics clicked..
It seems I am watching my small world with different eyes now, everything is just so different now.. I had my share of crushes, tears, smiles, pride, enthusiasm, sharing, dances, love, chocolates :), chats, night outs, studies, projects, assignments, friends... Now its time to say farewell to all !! Now as i try to visualize my life through the window, i see so many new things, new horizons, new challenges.. but yet the feeling of loss of such a wonderful time will be carried by me through some time to come..

Monday, 9 October 2006

Crazy Week

Last week was crazy :) Had lots of fun at home.. went out for lunch on sunday and ended up with spending whole evening out.. Mom went crazy too, she was expecting me back by 4pm and i entered my home quite late.. She wanted to catch up with me i guess.. She was angry at how could i go out and not spend time with her, especially since i am home for such a short time.. She is so sweet really :)
Monday was everyone's holiday (2nd oct) so started the day with yummy food, bread pakoras and aloo ki tokri.. Went out to watch the dussehra celebrations in the evening.. And i still cant believe myself that i stood on a 4 feet high allevation around flowers n plants, to watch the show.. :) There wasnt much room for me to stand with many people already standing there.. still i managed somehow and din fell.. :) that was crazy of me.. :D vaise people did crazier things.. like climbing a tree and sitting there.. And bringing some high chairs from their homes.. Some people carried their children on their shoulders to let them view everything..
Next day i went on shopping..again.. And u know i was shopping till 1:40 pm, arrived back home at 2:02p.m.. ate lunch and packed some stuff i bought into my bags by around 2:15pm.. and was at ISBT by 2:37 to catch a 2:40 bus.. :D thankfully a frens and his fren were accompanying too.. So i did actually caught the bus.. They chatted non-stop and fought like children.. It was nice to see them do that.. Heard a lot of good songs on their phones.. Slept at some point of time and i hope din bothered the fren's fren much, with my head on his shoulders while i was soundly asleep :D
After coming back, some days went in trying to find a proxy (which sometimes works, sometimes dont).. no blogspot working at my insti.. no orkut working too.. blogger dashboard opens though :).. i can still read all your blogs thru feedblitz, though cant comment on them..
Yesterday was my last test before diwali and today i have a project demo.. uske baad total aish.. :)
Wednesday, 4 October 2006

Blogspot blocked

Hey people, blogspot has been blocked at my place.. people have gone mad and i dunno why along with orkut, blogspot has been blocked.. I have tried numerous proxies and almost none works.. the ones that did got blocked abt an hour later.. :( network admins have got paranoid i guess..

And btw i will still keep posting if blogger keeps opening :D and will be active as soon as i am out of this place :) which is just about 2 and a half months away :)
Sunday, 1 October 2006


For the first time in my life i lived in terror.. Not from terrorists but from wasps .. These are called yellow jackets/ tattiya / barraiya too.. They had built a hive in front of my room and the person who came to take it off just banged it witha stick and left.. and the day after was horrible.. they stung at people passing from the corridor and attacked them literally.. A whole bunch would stick to the leg and sting.. Four of my friends got the sting.. They were so angry about their homes.. and i kept myself locked in my room :( others could go to their rooms from another corridor but for me, whichever way i took, they remained always in front of my room.. that stupid person did so wrong by hitting their hive.. atleast they were peaceful before that.. anyways some people from pest control came and sprayed some chemical and took the hive away.. till next 2 days those wasps circulated in the corridor probably looking for their lost home.. i felt a bit sad for them.. but then we ve to see our safety too..


Yesterday i came to delhi by bus and in front of my seat were my swimming instructors' brother and his family.. His children were absolutely adorable.. and i thought if i were to have kids they a\shd be like them :D For the first time i met a 10 month old baby who didnt scream , cry, and make their parents journey hell by numerous ways.. She was such an active baby and at the same time not violent types :D.. generally babies cry to go back to parents or someone they know.. she came to me and was their for about half an hour, playing with my earrings, making lots of funny noises, trying to sleep in my arms and smiling a LOT.. And her 6 yr old brother was a charmer.. I did counting with him.. to count 4+4 he had to use his fingers and after lots of thought process he came up with answer as 8!! I taught him some tricks to form birds from hands.. chidiya udana :) he took away a lot of coins from me and he operated mobile phone like i never could.. I was so surprised to see a him play with the phone like that.. he even knew how to click photographs from my cell, even though his father's model was a different one.. i wonder if children these days come to this world after learning everything.. they are so at ease with the technology... the next generation is a lot smarterthan us :)


Yestarday night i went out with my family to watch ramlila.. i went to pitampura and i realised how crowded delhi is.. It took us abt half an hour to cross a strech of abt 1.5 kms.. and the crowd in ramlila ground was mind blowing.. so we didnot went to watch ramlila, instead we went to the food stalls and enjoyed the mela.. it was a sea of people.. to get food from stall to where my family stood, i took about 5 mins and atleast 20 excuse me's.. Though i hated how people threw stuff on ground like that, when there are dustbins placed avery 10 steps, i just loved the spirit and activeness of people around.. And i missed Delhi.. Everything & everyone keeps moving here, at a fast pace.. Though i love quite of my campus too but thats not what i really enjoy.. observing poeple, looking at how they all work even in the worst conditions is a marvel in itself.. not many people appreciate crowdy places.. i dunno why but i do.. i like to be in places where some activity goes on.. :) And did i forgot to mention the gorgeous food i ate yesterdat.. :D I so so so love the chatpata and masaledaar food (spicy food).. and especially the kulfi faluda :) ..


And since some time i have been chatting with a fellow blogger and something he told me yesterday kept me into some introspection.. He said, "Our thoughts dont agree much on so much we talk about..And you usually reply with more questions or laughter, i dont know how to reply to that and i feel a little uncomfortable talking to you".. These are not the exact words, but the meaning was this only.. About agreeing thoughts i know, two people tend to have some disagreements and we dont know each other much to really know we agree a lot or disagree a lot.. And about asking questions, well i know i ask a lot of questions..but never knew this could be taken as something uncomfortable.. And i was really surprised to hear the same thing about laughter.. i laugh a lot and i amusually genuinely amused when i laugh :) or i am genuinely happy :) About asking questions i think i can do something but dun think can do anything about my laughs.. :) i am happy and i reflect that.. so thats that :)
Sunday, 24 September 2006

Life hurts..

Sometimes just a simple phrase said by someone, heard somewhere works its way into the deepset part of the heart and it hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. And nothing can be done. Except to wonder what to do and see around to get comfort. Then this feeling to get comfort, to feel cared for becomes a craving. A craving so great that it becomes out of control. The more its suppressed, the more violent it becomes. Every cell in the brains shouts something different, its a chaos. Just a chaos. Not just heart but mind too behaves capriciously. sometimes comatose, at other times drugged with madness. At those times, life hurts. And a lot.
Friday, 22 September 2006

Mirror Mirror, tell me all !!!

Have you ever noticed how integral part of our lives is formed by a mirror..I noticed this courtesy a full length mirror placed just near my hostel's water cooler. I was filling my water bottle and just noticed how everyone passing by never failed to peek a glance at the mirror.. or at themselves..

What urges us gals to keep looking at themselves??

Even when they have just got up from bed and are in a mess.. still they would look into the mirror and smile at how relaxed they look.. *I do that :)*.. Girls almost always give a small touch up to their dresses in front of mirror even when everything was already in place.. Skirts will be pulled down (or up :D ) shirts and straps will be brought into right place.. hair will again be brushed.. make-up will be given a small touch up too..
The funniest part being nothing will look the same after 5 minutes.. not a single thing.. yet we just cant give up the urge to do our best to look the best... You can always tell if the girl is going out to meet someone special, by noticing the time for which she stays in front of mirror.. & by how many times she come back to see herself in the mirror.. *hehehehe*

And by the way has anyone noticed how many time you go in front of mirror to check which accessory match with the dress or which colours suit my mood today?? That is such a girlie thing.. * :) * I have about 100+ earrings and still have to look at the dress and myself and the earring together to feel satisfied that they go well together :) and i absolutely love doing that :)
And i wonder do guys do anything like this?? standing in front of mirror to look at themselves??

Mirror shows just a reflection of how you look, i so hope it could also give a reflection of what you are.. "Looking at yourself in mirror isn't exactly the study of life".. Have you ever looked into a mirror with some questions for yourself.. some introspection? I have never tried it but have heard from a friend that its a nice experience..

And in the end a quite interesting qoute/question i found--

"Who sees the human face correctly: the photographer, the mirror, or the painter?"

And i sincerely couldnt come up with an answer..
Wednesday, 20 September 2006

Which type is ur's


Interesting observations by Psychiatrist Dr. Frank Caprio.He gives the following breakdown:


If you throw your clothes all over the house, you are a friendly,
life-of-the-party type.
You are: free with your thoughts and opinions, not caring much about
what others think of you.


If you remove each piece of clothing and put it away carefully, you are
a serious person who likes life very calm.
You are: comfortable with routine and you believe that the best way to
deal with life's problems is to prevent them in the first place.


You methodically remove your shoes and socks beforeyou begin undressing.
You are: a perfectionist, a bit shy, observant, dependable, intense and
think before making decisions. You go about your tasks methodically,
with concentration. You know how to pay attention.


You take off the shirt and ten minutes later get around to taking off
your pants or skirt.
You are: extremely self-confident, intellectual, a deep thinker and
don't like to be hassled. Usually you like a lot of free time for yourself.


You get out of your clothes as quickly as possible.
You are: concerned about others and what they expect from you but
you're worried about your own needs. You are family-oriented and stay
extremely busy.


You take off your rings, watch, etc. before anything else.
You are: warm, thoughtful, sensitive and romantic.


You never undress the same way twice.
You are: a very curious, interesting person and you enjoy a broad range
of activities. You take risks and enjoy fun and adventure.

Interesting.. isnt it? :)
My type is -- jewelry off first undresser and haphazard dresser too.. no wonder my room is always in a mess with my clothes lying everywhere :D .. so whats urs?
Saturday, 16 September 2006

I say a little prayer for you....

Well, tomorrow went out not so well for me.. i had a project submission, an altercation with the teacher concerned and a bad bad mood.. I felt all lonely yday.. i mean i always have someone to talk to.. yday i felt i have none..
So i started my day today with a chat with my best friend, who's miles away in US right now.. but it made me feel better :) and then i wished happy bday to a fren :)
and when i came back from my classes, i surfed youtube and saw this video.. i sooooo love this scene from the movie "My best friend's wedding".. i ended watching this video for atleast 10 times and i think if i had played it for some more time, my neighours would have come and told me to shut up.. ( i was singing too.. hehehe.. ) And i am so so so so happy that i m putting it on my blog and i wanto end up watching this again n again :) :)

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little pray for you
While combing my hair now,
And wondering what dress to wear now,
I say a little prayer for you

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever, we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only meen heartbreak for me.

I run for the bus, dear,
While riding I think of us, dear,
I say a little prayer for you.
At work I just take time
And all through my coffee break-time,
I say a little prayer for you.

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me.

I say a little prayer for you

I say a little prayer for you

My darling believe me, ( beleive me)
For me there is no one but you!
Please love me too (answer his pray)
And I'm in love with you (answer his pray)
Answer my prayer now babe (answer his pray)

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me (oooooooooh)
Wednesday, 13 September 2006

Life at its best

I'm so laid back these days.. just enjoying my life.. reading romantic novels :) listening to music all day, even while i am asleep.. going to dance-workshops in nights.. attending meetings for my clubs and writing something for editorials in upcoming annual college-book...doing yoga daily in the wee hours of morning :) And yesterday I made some greeting cards too.. just dunno whom to post.. :) And i feel like Mc Donald's ad-line, "I'm loving it".. :)

Just one hitch!! My room is in total mess!! I need atleast 5 hours to get everything back into place.. But on secomd thoughts thats not really a bad thing.. atleast my life is not a mess..
Saturday, 9 September 2006

Never believed this could happen

I was so very upset during my travel to delhi today morning.. A guy, who was very indecent looking types, sat beside me... when ofcourse half of the bus was empty... I tried to completely ignore him, but he was such a looser that i cant even describe my feelings when he sat with me.. He just kept staring me.. i mean what was his problem?? I was soo tempted to ask him, "Hey have you never seen a girl before or what?".. It was 5:30 a.m. in the morning, so i safely
assumed acting to be asleep will be a good idea.. but NO this guy was so adamant at having some chit-chat with me that wanted to give him a chanta (slap).. He started by asking from where are u coming, which he undoubtedly knew cos we boarded the bus at same place!! Then he started asking about where r u going!! which too he knew wen i bought the ticket for delhi.. Then he was soo interested in knowing why am i not studying in Delhi that i wanted to kick him.. it was none of his business.. I replied that my college is one of the best ones!! And then you wont believe what he said.. "Oh!! People come in here through donations!!" and donations my foot, my college is one of the few colleges in india which dont even support sponsored seats.. each n every student has to go through a strict screening process.. i myself slogged to get in there and faced interview before getting admission.. He was so-so adamant at keep on talking to me that he even said something like "You are so intelligent".. As if he knows a lot about me, and he contd for half an hour with his monologues.. and he was so irritating that when i dint answer him or pretend to be asleep he kept on repeating his question till i say something..
And you know you havent even heard the worst part.. His gaze and his gestures... He continuously kept coming closer to me.. I had to ask him to move several times over.. and he kept on slipping towards me again n again.. And he tried to move his hands closer to my boobs.. while talkin he'll invariably bring his mouth closer.. and when he asked a question, his gaze would always drop down to you-know-what.. I felt so so unconfortable during that 1 hr he sat on my neighouring seat.. gosh, i was so relieved to know he isnot going to tortutre me through out the journey.. After he left , some aunteeji came.. which though very lousy was anytime better than the previous chap..

I can never understand why some guys come down to such a cheap level? Is this the reason people usually call an unsafe place for girls to stay? I felt very bad after the incident.. I felt like covering myself up with something like a burqa to evade his penetrating eyes.. It felt like i am not even decently covered up.. Felt like protecting myself..

Friday, 8 September 2006


What is it with people these days!! Every one in this world seem to be worrying about my marriage. Especially the aunties who have no better work except to say this guy is good.. he earns so and so.. no one comes and say he is a nice guy or he can keep you happy.. All that matters is he has a fat paycheck and maybe a good looking face..

One more *irritating* thing everyone keeps saying, in one way or the other, you will be leaving your job one day, so why think so much about your career.. and not just the aunties but 2 of my guy-batchmates also hold the same view.. Why being a girl, thinking about career is such a big deal? and why do these guys thought a women should leave her job after sometime to be happy and caring towards her family life!! AND why dont they think they too will have to share some responsibilities.. but they wont think of leaving their jobs.. will they??

I have worked hard to get where i am today and i got a job because i am capable of the work this company needs from its employees. To think of leaving the job to do household work is stupidity in my sense.. I didnot studied so much to let all my knowledge go into dustbin.. I know of a few girls too who think this way.. they say,"Family first".. as if family and career are two mutually exclusive things.. If girla themselves can think in derogative way for their careers, what can be expected from others anyways..

My parents laugh at me when i tell them i'll marry someone who will help me in everything, including to do daily chores like cooking n cleaning.. We are sharing lives, so why not share responsibilities too.. is it so odd to want to share such tiny-winy thing with your partner?? huh!!

And people please dont get offended if you dont agree with any point.. i am NOT speaking about you, but a few ppl i recently met/talked with..
Tuesday, 5 September 2006

I feel so good

i am feeling so good right now.. since last few days i was planning to wake up early and go for a jog.. but lazy bum is wat i have become.. never woke up before 8:30 am.. :) ahh sleep is soo wonderful.. and my bed is such a sweet abode of, umm, my laziness!!! feel like sleeping again.. :)
anyways, back to feeling good, today i woke up at 5:30, albeit with heavy door thomping and wat not, by my devilish friend whom i mistakenly promised yesterday, that i'll go with her for a jog.. 3 more people told her that they will come.. she woke up at 5:30 and started to broke their sweet sweet dreamzz.. and unfortunately mine was the last room in row ( from her room ).. everyone else said NO.. i mean this is soooo very wrong.. they told her they'll come and how could they refuse.. just how could they?? and in the end i was made her scapegoat... she started banging at my door when i ignored her calling me.. she made me go with her :(((
so i half-heartedly and half-sleepily got ready and went to jogging grounds.. it had been ages since i last saw a sunrise.. which is as always wonderful.. i particularly like the color palatte nature forms on sky.. next time i'll click a pic too :) so i jogged for 1.6 kms.. usually i do more but today i was all out of breath.. i think it could be because of terrible cold/cough um having.. i had viral in last few days.. After the jog i did some stretching.. and i was happy that i have not lost flexibility :) :) and then i went for yoga class.. i wasnt aware there is one going on in our campus, the athletics coach told me and then i went there.. it was good actually.. by the time i reached, class was almost done and they were about to start the relaxing excercises.. and that the reason i am feeeling sooo good now :)
Lying on the floor, closed eyes, breathing slowly and deeply, listening to sir's words-- like feel your breathing.. see your stomach going up and down.. :) imagine to release all your worries and negative thoughts.. collect energy from surroundings.. things like this.. it was a wonderful experience.. and most amazing part was, after a few breaths i started to remember things i need to do after coming back to my room, right then he said.. stop thinking about other things and be mentally present with yourself.. :) After this all of us sat in a circle holding each other's hands and chanted "OM" for sometime.. it was wonderful to feel the energy around us and it felt just so out of the world experience :)
And see i am so smiley smiley now, that i have left soooo many :)'s in this post.. and i had to delete some of them otherwise this post was looking like a smiling chimpanzee.. :))

And the pics i told ya i'll be posting-- The painting is 2' X 3' ( i think this ' is for feet.. correct me if um wrong..) Ceramic is a powder which is kneaded with an adhesive, like fevicol, and the final dough is used as clay for making various shapes, like the leaves on top and the pillars of the temple.. Then i painted this with oil paints and finally used varnished to give it a glossy look.. and the silver, golden work was done after applying the varnish...

The flower- vase is about 2.5' high, here instead of making dough with ceramics, a thik paste was made and filled into cones.. all the work, except for the roses and leaf pattern/ yellow rope pattern, was done with cone.. and 2-3 coats were given to give it some height.. Stones were used to give that embroidery look on the bride's lehnga, the red dress.. The lower portion of the vase is studded :) with different sized-shaped-colored stones..

Tuesday, 22 August 2006

Placement time..

Well, I've been in college life since 5 years now and i can confidently say placement time is the most gruelling one.. Companies visit one by one to hire people.. The most reputed companies take only a few students, maybe only 2 or 3.. And thats the time confidences falter, gloom sets in minds, people starts walking with high hopes from themselves and slowly turn diffident.. Test went well, interviews went well, interviewer was impressed.. but yet, no job in hand gets very frustrating..
I've seen the ecstacy of people getting a well-paying jobs and seen the sadness in the eyes of those who were ousted.. and that too simultaneously.. I've seen people trying to show they are happy for their friend but yet somehow feels why not me? I've seen people criticising others for no reason.. But then i've also seen people genuinely feeling happy for frens and helping them as they move forward.. I've seen people consoling others to compose back.. I've seen so many emotions in just past week, i somehow feel it was like a movie..

Now, on a happier note, i have been offered job in symantec, pune in R&D.. The interview went on and on till 4 am today in the morning, by which time i was just happy to end the procedure, selection was just outta my mind.. I woke up at 7 am to get ready for another interview in another company,just in case i din get into symantec.. so now i am happily placed with a well-paying offer and a good job profile :)
( that was the reason for my absence from blogosphere in the last week.. i'll be visiting ur blogs again after i take a loooong nap now... :) )
Tuesday, 15 August 2006

Happy independence day to all.. i

There are so many childhood memories attached to independence day.. There was so much of excitement at my home.. me n my brothers were up at 6 a.m. ( and which was not usual on an holiday :D) but that independenc day is always special.. for us its importance was not in terms of independence, it was because of kites..
A day before we were taken to a kite shop and were allowed to pick up 50 kites of any design n colour.. ( and mind you 50 were such a small number).. While we selected kites, my father would check out manja..Its the string with which kites are tied and the sharper, the better.. And whole night we'll attach white strings to kites.. which was not an easy task.. all strings should be of proper length otherwise kite wont fly properly.. it could sometimes go round n round in air, which was difficult to manage..
Next day, we were almost up alongwith the crack of dawn, which was a rare sight ;).. I was mostly given the task of holding kite at some distance and give it the initial upward thrust.. then i wd hold the charkhi and let my brother fly the kite.. He would usually hand it over to me for sometime, when there were no other kites surrounding ours..
And the real excitement was not in flying kites but in "pech ladana".. The long strings tangle up with a nearby kite, it is usually done deliberately.. now which ever person's strings snap was boo-ed by every one.. :) that was the fun part.. not only the winning person did that, but all the people who are flying their own kites would join in with whistles.. :)
Also we used to keep a long bamboo stick handy, in case a snapped kite cut from somewhere else moves over our roof.. it was duly caught and brought down.. Mostly, we used to fly around 100 kites that day.. and the hardest time was endured by our mom, who'd always be calling us down to have breakfast and lunch.. :)
This time around i am at my hostel and not at my home.. and my brother called me to say he is missing me cos there is no one to hold the charkhi.. :( i am missing kites now..
Tuesday, 8 August 2006

living like this

Everything keeps moving here..
Everyone does something
thinking about their own lives
in their own shell

own interest is supreme
they come to me
say nice things
take away something

fooled me into thinking
they are my friends
and i should do anything for them
and i was happy to have them

One day i needed them too
they were busy in their own lives
why should they bother about my problem
they had much more important things to do

I was left alone in between
bewildered, what happened?
did something went wrong?
how will i ever know?

Life is an illusion i understood
nothing is what it seems to be
only a few genuine peices are there
and treasure them while u can

Thats all i learned from this
emotional turmoil i endured
made myself strong
Knew what life is all about in this damn world

This was a phase in my life.. around 2 yrs back.. now i have a few very good frens whom i know wont desert me in my distressed times.. but back then i was very lonely
Saturday, 5 August 2006
Thursday, 27 July 2006

The photo tag..

Well, i have seen this photo tag doing rounds on many blogs.. so here am I.. tagged by none but still taking it up :D

Here goes many things most people dont know about me...

1. My Childhood dream..
I always thought of opening an art n crafts school.. right now i'm into totally different field, which has got nothing to do with crafts stuff :(

2. My future plans..
I Plan to adopt a baby some day :) There are so many children who dont get a decent enough life.. adopting a child brings difference to atleast one life.. i just hope i will become a gud mother :D Though i understand my husband might not be ready for this.. Not many people can accept someone else in their lives so easily.. Still i hope i can atleast help some kids in their education and upbringing..

3. Meditation
I am not too good in meditating and um trying to improve.. Since many things are revolving in my head, i cant maintain that silence ( in my mind ) for too long.. whenever i sit to meditate my mind wanders so much that i dun even come close to the act of meditating..

4. My weakness
I cry so easily.. its not that i'm not strong, but tears come naturally in my eyes and a lot for that matter.. i cry even while watching a movie, when no one else is crying :)

5. My best time-pass

I am a voracious reader and can (almost) read any book under the sun.. and maybe one day i'll have a personal library of my own :)

6. something i did today

Shopping.. yippie.. i've been going to shop a lot lately.. mostly to busy some things i need to take back to hostel.. So i've bought 5 T-shirts, 1 kurti, 2 formal shirts, 1 salwar kameez, 2 sandals, Rakhis for my brother, some colorful pens to gift them to my bros.. now just a few things more left to buy ( some tiny-miny stuff like earrings and a belt and some other accessories)
Saturday, 22 July 2006

yaaawwwwnnnn !!!!! :)

I am soooooooooooooooooo tired right now.. dun have anything to write actually.. just feeling happy, satisfied, content, at peace with myself and a lot sleepy :)

I went out on a drive today with a close fren and clicked a lot of photographs too.. most of em wd not b 2 gud since they were shot from a moving vehicle.. lets c how they turn out wen i upload em on my laptop.. there were lot of people carrying kanvars.. they r returning from some holy place more than 150 kms on foot.. i dont know much about why is this particular trip taken.. will update soon with the pics i clicked..

And i know i havent replied to all your replies in last 2 posts.. i'll be doing that sometime tomorrow.. um lazy.. :)

anyways i better be going to sleep now.. i cant even type now!!!

Friday, 7 July 2006


Today, i was talkin to a fren of mine and topic of discussion was universe.. :) Tthe universe is thought to be a space-time continuum in which all matter and energy exist. It is finite or infinite, no one knows.. Even this is not sure that the universe is a part of a system of many other universes, (multiverse).

Cosmic inflation removes vast parts of the total universe from our observable horizon, So it is probably impossible to observe the whole continuum. The part of the universe that can be seen or otherwise observed is usually called the known universe, observable universe, or visible universe. Research articles in cosmology often use the term "universe" when they really mean "observable universe". This is because unobservable physical phenomena are scientifically irrelevant. And so there is no agreement over wether universe is finite or not.

Think about it, We are no where near knowing where do we really exist? We all are so absorbed in our periphery that we dont even bother to look what lies beyond?

Now do u agree that there could be some micro organisms which will never come before our eyes.. suppose they live in a small place, say a sand dune in a remote area.. For them that is there world, would they think of something lying beyond there reach? And now consider we r in same position.. this universe is nothing but a ball in the hands of some giant kid and we r those tiny miny micro organisms..

Well i know this is sooo absurd thought, but when i was a kid and was introduced to this chapter called "The universe", i usually thought of all of us in this way.. :) i was an imaginative kid you see.. btw before i start going into my other equally imaginative stories, get back to track..

So we were discussing universe, where this world, this earth and our very own existence is just a small issue..
after i put down the phone, my maid came to me and asked me- "didiji, Its soo hot, Only god knows why isnt it raining this year?".. I told her its already raining in some parts of India and monsoon will hit our city soon.. "But the rain is happening in India, and we are in delhi. How are they connected?". And when i said "Delhi is the capital of India.. Its an integral part of the country.", She didnot believe me at once.. She lives in Delhi but she doesnt live in india !!!

So that was my free fall from The Universe to an ignorant mind..
Saturday, 1 July 2006


Continued from here

Shikha slowly started to adjust into new surroundings.. She struggled in new role as wife, with new responsibilities and constant nagging from her mother-in-law.. Her discomfort grew, but she had nowhere to turn to.. Ansh was busy with his business.. Rekha was busy in trying to create rifts between the couple.. Meanwhile Shikha gave birth to a healthy child.. She was a mother before she turned 19...

Life is not fair to all, Some people get other people's share of problems too.. Shikha though tried to cope with eveything was slowly turning inwards.. in the shell of her bedroom.. She was not happy as she wanted to be.. but then who really is?

In her parents home, all was not well either.. seeing his daughter's plight Shikha's father's health kept on deteriorating.. He couldnt see her this way, but he wont do anything for her cos he was still angry.. She chose her own life, why should he interfere? Egos.. one really cant understand them wholly.. And one day he left this world from a severe heart attack.. Shikha not only lost her father but also her family's sympathy.. everyone else blamed her for this incident.. She caused him worries.. She made him ill.. She made her father die..

She cut herself totally from outside world after this.. She, her son were her whole world now.. occasionally Ansh would become too.. when he was free ofcourse.. He loved Shikha but recently he too got tired of her behaviour.. she was always upset or depressed.. And it takes deep love to accept one's partner in these conditions.. Ansh found it difficult to think of shikha in same way now.. She had not completed her studies and so couldnot find a job to keep herself busy.. Her mother told her straight not to get a divorce and refused to accept her responsibility.. She has already caused a lot of strife and should not be the cause of new ones..

After a few years shikha became mother again.. and at the same time gave in to depression.. She stopped responding to people.. She stopped smiling or crying.. She stared at walls for endless hours.. She stared at people as if they were walls too.. what went in inside her head was known only to her.. No one cared anyways now.. No one noticed her condition till once she fainted among relatives and was taken to hospital..

Her hospitalisation charges were not less but nothing what Ansh couldnt afford, yet he despised shelling off so much money on her.. Later her medication charges also pinched him.. But somehow as she recovered from depression, they started going out like in the past.. like in their courtship period.. They both went out on a trip to Mussoorie.. a small hill station.. Shikha thought of these days as her most happier ones.. But she never came back.. only her body did.. Ansh told everyone she died suddenly in her sleep.. When ppl saw her dead body, anyone could make foul play in this situation, shikha's face was all blue and her lips were black.. You would be expecting someone to take some action against Ansh.. atleast i thought so.. but it didnt happen..
Her mother refused to take any action lest Shikha's both children be left for her to take care of.. She did not want to take-in her own grand children.. But had no problems with letting them live with a murdrer..

Now was it Shikha's destiny to die at an age of 28?? Everything she suffered was because of just her one decision to marry a person she loved.. But was it her destiny to have a mother-in-law who expected a lot of dowry?? Was it her destiny not to live a happy life with her husband?? Was it her destiny to be blamed for her own father's demise?? Was it her destiny to have a mother who didnot wanted to take her responisibilty?? Was it her destiny to be taking costly medications?? Was it her destiny to be killed by someone she gave her life to?? Was it her destiny to leave 2 children who'll live a life of an orphan with a careless father??

If she had known what lays ahead of her in this marriage, Would she still have married Ansh?

This story i've written is a true story.. of a girl who lived next door.. And She was killed the day before i started writing this story.. i've always seen her mother as a shrewd lady.. but seeing her not take any action against Ansh was heartbreaking..

( Names and places have been changed )

Sunday, 25 June 2006

All world should go to hell!!

I feel so detached these days.. Like i've got nothing left to do in this damn world.. I've got to do atleast 10 things.. yet i dont feel any inclination to do them.. i've missed last coulpe o dance classes too.. and daily i call up my tutor ( who's teaching me ceramic work on flower pots) to tell her i've not yet completed the task i was supposed to complete last wednesday.. I've not started preparing for my placement, all my yahoogroup mails are filled with ppl sending company papers.. I dont knwo wat to do.. i dont even feel like crying.. all i feel is numbness..
Just a lost soul with nowhere to go and nothing to do.. Today i called up 7 ppl to talk to and none of them was free.. :( then i started working with ceramic in which i lost interest within 5 minutes.. i trod in my balcony for a long time.. wanting something to ease my nerves.. i've never smoked in my life but then i wanted to.. like ppl use to do in movies.. like my father do when he is nervous..
I dont know wat to do.. i just dont know.. And i dont care!!
Saturday, 24 June 2006


Now here i am starting a story.. I have not edited it after typing and i dun have much time right now.. Its just raw..


Today was her birthday.. her 18th one.. The most important for her.. She woke up on hearing mother singing "Happy birthday Shikha".. She quickly got ready.. chossing a bright red coloured salwar kameez... She was happy today.. very happy.. She was 18 today.. EIGHTEEN.. She was waiting for this day to come since she was 16.. studying in 11th grade and blindly in love with Ansh.. He was the most handsome boy in their school... Being a gunda did not bother her.. She was blinded with his love..
After school she went on to study in a college.. whereas he started managing his father's business.. He couldnot get admission into a good college since his marks were way below average.. But they continued their relationship.. their love.. by secret meetings.. away from her parent's vying eyes.. She knew her parents would never agree to let her marry ansh.. So she waited for her 18th birthday.. when she could marry without asking her parents...
That was the actual reason for her happiness today.. She was going to get married today in a temple.. everything was already arranged by Ansh and his frens.. She just needed to reach there in time.. Butterflies churned up in her stomach.. Excitement and anticipations of her first night were accupying her mind all through the way..
She got married simply.. without consent or knowledge of their parents.. Both of them now were relieved for everything went without any disruption.. They went back home.. first went to Shikha's home.. Nervously she buzzed the bell.. Her mom opened it, knowing it would be shikha and everyone else waited in drawing room with a cake and 18 burning candles..
"Shikhaaaaaa" Screamed her mom after seeing the sindoor on her forehead.. She just kept looking at her and the man who accompanied her.. Her father rushed outside.. "what happened?".. He too saw shikha and just stood beside her mother.. speechless..
"Papa, I.. I am sorry for all this.. please meet Ansh.. i married him.. i hope you wont be angry on me.. i just had to do this".. Her father moved towards her.. She too moved toward him, to hug him.. and expecting to be hugged back.. Right there, right then a voice echoed through her home.. He slapped her.. hard.. "Why? Why did you do this?".. She could not answer.. What could she say anyway.
All her relatives were present there.. watching the whole drama.. A quick wedding was planned with everyone invited.. They did not want their girl to go to her in-laws without a proper vidaii..
She came to her new home.. full with hopes of future.. hopes of a blessed life.. hopes of a happy family..
As soon as all people from her new home left.. Ansh's mother, Rekha, called her and saw her from tip to toe.. like examining a new washing machine for her home.. she was not happy.. Not at all happy.. He wanted her son to marry a girl from their business associate's daughter.. she would have brought a lot of dowry.. whereas Shikha brought nothing. She was in her same red salwar kameez.. Her parents though wealthy, did not want to give her any part of the money they had collected for her marriage.. She married without asking them so they argued she should not be given any thing. that was all her fault.. Shikha did not even care.. but Rekha did.. Her mother-in-law minded it a lot.. Why shouldnt she.. she often dreamt of the money her son will bring on his marriage.. Now all her dreams were slashed by this girl..
Monday, 19 June 2006

Mausam hai suhana..

Hey ppl, is it raining in ur part of the world too?
If yes then isnt it soooo romantic.. so wonderful.. i woke up at 5 in the morning to go for a jog.. though its still raining and i din go.. but um glad i wake up then.. it was so lovely out there.. like innocence at its best.. watching a pigeon-couple cozying into small place out of the reach of water was a wonder :) and seeing children hopping onto the puddles of water on the road brought back so many memories.. wen i was a kid and commuted to school by a school bus.. same scene happened almost every july :) and once wen i get back the streets were water-jammed.. it reached upto thighs of my small body.. i waited on a house's steps where my bus dropped me for someone to come n fetch me home... but no one came.. i think my mom expected me to return home on my own like ordinary days.. i was on the verge of tears when no one came for about 15 minutes.. lol.. vaise i was a brave girl.. cos i did came home on my own.. i was dead scared that i'll find a snake in water.. n u know i din even told my mom i was scared.. next day one of my fren told me she was scared but din went home alone.. then i bragged so much abt me going alone... i think u might know how a child brags.. so that was wat i did.. now it seems ll so childish.. :)
Friday, 9 June 2006

whats your hobby??

In our so busy schedules, we always find some things to do.. atleats i do.. :) there r so many things to do, right? people have many interests.. to as boring as listening to rafi songs or as exciting as climbing mountains.. as different as collecting various shaped kiddie-erasers or as mundane as reading books.. as costly as collecting gold coins or as cheap as playing in the streets.. as informative as researching history or as dumb as gossiping.. as magical as capturing moments by photography or as real as learning martial arts .. as intricate as craft-work or as simple as drying flowers in old books..

I have many interests in life.. painting, sketching, making paper flowers, reading books, glass paintings, ceramic modelling, collecting earrings, making greetings cards, dancing, jogging, meditating, collage making, collecting stones- this is a bit weird i know.. but i love to collect various stones.. even the dull ones from rivers.. :D collecting quotes/articles from differnt ppl and different genre.. solving puzzles.. then shopping (specially window shopping :D) .. taking snaps from my mobile.. writing stories.. i guess i might be missing one or two more..

i like doing various things in life and probably thats wat makes me going in life and i do have something to do besides studying.. :) and i take pride in saying i can do so many things efficiently.. :)
Saturday, 3 June 2006

One of many Tags.... The "S" Thing

i've been tagged by Ricky. He gave me letter S I have to write 10 words beginning with that letter, including an explanation of what those words mean to me and why.

Sleep - I love a good nights sleep and atleast 10hrs at stretch :).. though i seldom get it wen um in my hostel.. nd these days um sleeping up for the days i've lost my sleep :) :)

Sirname - Well my Sirname starts with S.. and sirname itself starts with S.. lol..

Salsa - Well its the most cutest couple dance.. i learned some basic steps in my normal dance class.. but starting this sunday um going for a proper salsa class.. though my partner is going to be my younger brother :) and i'll have to wear heels to the dnce class n my bro will have to wear formal dress to the class..

Sunday - Mostly ppl think sunday as fun-day.. for me it always was the most boring day.. no dance class and not even papa at home.. his holiday is on wednesday.. which is today :) Though i like to paint sometimes on sunday.. bot khaali time hota hai us din..

Skirt - I love to wear skirts... though my family wont allow me to wear those short ones.. so i wear the longer ones :) and they r anytime better in scorching heats of delhi..

Surprises - Well, There is no life without a healthy does os suprises mixed.. And i love to have them in my life.. Atleast they make life a bit more mysterious :)

Shopping - Tell me one person who doesnt like shopping :) and um no exception..

Sharbat - Best thing to have in summer :) be it roohafza.. rasna.. ghar ka bana badaam ka sharbat.. or shikanji.. everything is soo good :)

Sky - I love to watch sky especially at dawn n dusk... when u can see various colors and shades in the sky..

Scoop of icecream - I am crazy about icecreams.. though i eat them in moderation cos um trying to lose some weight.. but still anyone can put a smile on my lips by offering me an icecream.. n my fav ones being chocolate chips icecream.. also called "21 love" in the old nirulas.. :)

So thats about it.. all those who want to take up this tag.. leave me a line n i'll give u a letter :)
Sunday, 28 May 2006

If u all were wondering where have i been....

Hello!! Well i am really very busy these days!! vaise in the last few posts i made it very clear ki mein kitni veli hoon... but recently i've got smitten with the ring bug :) I am reading "The lord of the rings" byt J.R.R. Tolkien.. i guess most of u ppl must have seen the movie if not read the book.. And i am so in awe of the author's imagination... Its such a gripping story to read :) and the description of everything is too good a detail :)
I got this book as a gift last yr by my best fren who visited me in hospital after i underwent a minor surgery... and i never ever got so much time to even start reading a few pages of it.. this one is a very thick book and its print is small... every time i took it up, i ended in keeping it back safely in my book shelf since i never thought i'll b able to complete it... now i have started reading it and i am just occupied by the chronicles of the middle earth... And i am enjoying it a lot :) I have read the first novel(Fellowship ot the ring).. and i am in betwen the second one(The two towers).. By the way, i noted there r two words most often written in the book -- "Ring" and "Peril"...
In between all this, i saw fanaa on friday.. After such a long time i saw first day first show of a movie.. A superb movie.. And kajol is like Wow!!! Her acting skills are just beyond words.. As many will know she plays a role of blind girl... and she is happy and at peace with what she is.. not at all complaining... And there is a dance sequence.. When u see her dance u will admire her even more the way she dances and not even once u feel like she is not blind.. Anyways i wont speak more of the movie now lest i give away the story :D
And i am definitely planning to see The da vinci code tomorrow.. :) Any comments on it?
Thursday, 18 May 2006

Me in a teacher's role!!

Have you ever tried teaching maths to a 5th grade student?? well try now!! I taught a girl from neighourhood n just cdnt imagine how little they know!! Though she learned (or rather crammed) tables of numbers till 9 in 4th class itself, she still cdnt remember them.. Her mom sent me to teach her how to add unlike fractions..
And so i had a student who is supposed to know all multiplications/dicisions involving numbers not greater than 12 and who learned LCM in class 3 to tell her how to add/subtract unlike numbers...
(( BTW.. those of you, who dont know how it is done shd see here.. And who actually had to see this page.. pls go and read class 5 Maths textbook :P ))

Before teaching her this i asked her a few questions to know her skill level.. In a problem to reduce fractions.. she got and what she did was---

:) now i called my mom for SOS.. how to tell her these basic things.. now accolades to my mom who finally made her understand/remember how division is done...
Next she got 30/10... and guess wat she did now... she wrote 10) 30 ( and sat there thinking with which number shd she divide???
She wrote 3 x 3 =6...
then triple of 2 is 5...
2 x 2 x 5 = 30!!!
So at the end of half an hour i was abt to pull my hair... But with what remaining patience i had ( It wasnt much i tell you) i started correcting her mistakes and by the end of another hour... voila!! she had learned how to add unlike fractions...
Now please please please pray for me that her mom never asks me again to teach her maths...
Friday, 5 May 2006
Hi all... specially shreyas, who recently wrote in my chat box... "itna bhi kya busy".. :) hmm.. now imagine urself in my place.. you have got 4 projects, research proposal, 3 presentations and 2 assignments to be done in short span of 2 weeks, which although got extended to almost 3 weeks.. my all this work ended yesterday with lest demo... and i have my final exams from tomorrow...
:( i am fucked up here.. loads n loads of work..
During the last few days i learned a lot too.. not really in terms of studies but how different ppl react n work in different conditions...
a teammate of mine didnot even understand or took the pain to understand the protocol we were going to implement.. i did abt 75% of work n assigned him the rest, and to my surprise he din do even half of it.. i told him step by step, how to plan n implement things.. but then i cant go inside someone's head n feed the information there..even if he hadnt done it properly we had to submit our work on 2nd.. i had demo at 3pm on 3rd and on 2nd night i again asked him to implement it nd told him AGAIN what to do.. he said i'll do it right this time.. i woke up till 2 am in night, listening to his dumb doubts and replying to it.. when i thought he has understood everything, only then i went for sleep.. nd wen i woke up at 5:30 am, i checked the amount of work he has done (this protocol was a distributed one, so implemented on a remote server(our institute's) so i cd check it from my room too) but i was so dissapointed that he dint even do a fraction of his work.. later he told me he slept in between!!
i started working at 5:30am and worked till 10 mins remaining to 3, when my protocol ran perfectly well.. Clearly if my fren had put in his time and effort wd have done this program in a day or two, for which i took half a day.. but he couldnt do it in 3-4 days either..

And in another one of my project team.. my partners cant rest till they complete their work.. with them, they were the ones doing major part of the project since i scarcely know java.. so just to feel involved in the project i started looking into their programs n keep giving dumb inputs which though resulted in removal of 3 major bugs :D.. and since java is all about finding right methods to do a job rather than applying complex programming logics.. i helped them in finding just that wherever they got stuck, with the help of 3 books ofcourse.. i got an adjective for doing this work too.. MSDN library.. lol...

I told all this story just because i was wondering what motivates ppl to do certain things in life with dedication? vaise the only thing that motivates me to do all my work is the thought of long vacations ahead.. :) :) :) 80 days!!
i know it'll be difficult to stay at home doin absolutely nothing, especially after such a hectic
work schedule.. i'll have to think of somehin to keep me busy.. dance classes, swimming/jogging, art n craft classes, probably some programming classes, or some personality development workshop... hmmm.. pata nahi kuchh to karungi :D
Wednesday, 19 April 2006

My blog will not be actice for sometime now...

Hey ppl i am not getting time to devote on this blog due to my own work pressure.. so till 12th of may i am going to "hibernate".. If at all i post something in this period, you will all know by me making a presence on ur blog :)
Vaise i am just frustrated by how things are turning out to be both on personal and at "hostel" front :) some probs at hostel.. i am trying hard to cope up with a few things happening in my personal life.. and so not in a very gud mood i am going into hibernation.. just dun feel like doing anything at this moment... not even blogging..I'll be back on 12th of may, when i'll be settled cosily into my home and free till july end.. long vacations ;)
Monday, 17 April 2006
Saturday, 15 April 2006

Just wanna be with you

Monday night, and I feel so low,
I count the hours, but they go so slow.
I know the sound of your voice, can save my soul.
City lights, the streets are gold.
Looked down my window to the world below.
Move so fast, but it feels so cold
And I am all alone,
Don't let me die, I'm losing my mind,
Baby, just give me a sign.

And now that you're gone,
I just wanna be with you.
(Be with you)
And I can't go on, I wanna be with you.
Wanna be with you..

I can't sleep, I'm up all night.
Through these tears, I try to smile.
I know, the touch of your hand, can save my life.
But don't let me down, come to me now,
I got to be with you some how.

And now that you're gone,
I just wanna be with you.
(Be with you)
And I can't go on, I wanna be with you.
(Be with you)
Wanna be with you.

Don't let me down,
Come to me now.
I got to be with you some how.
And now that you're gone,
Who am I without you now?

I can't go on, I just wanna be with you.
And now that you're gone,
I just wanna be with you.
(Be with you)
And I can't go on,
I wanna be with you..
(Be with you)
Wanna be with you..

(Now that you're gone)
Just wanna be with you..
And I can't go on,
I wanna be with you.
Just wanna be with you, just wanna be with you.
----Enrique Iglesias
Thursday, 13 April 2006

A breather in this busy schedule :)

last night i went to an astronomy session organised in our campus... It was so much fun.. Though it was only for one-and-a-half hour and about 30 ppl were there. It was crowded alright for a single telescope, but fun nonetheless. We saw moon's surface, craters were very clear. Then we saw saturn along with its rings.. Lastly we saw jupiter with its 4 moons. 3 small dots above a bright ball and 1 below it!! Anyways atleast i saw it :)
And the gud part was the cool breeze under softly lit night..It was romantic nd i missed someone there.. We were a group of some 8-9 frens on that chhat.. sitting on the boundary.. ( i cant seem to remember the word for that 4-5 feet high wall like structure put on edges of balconys and roofs...) We argued a lot.. and totally useless arguements they were.. like which direction is east? And finally it turned out everyone was saying almost the same thing :) Pulling each other's leg is always the most funniest part..
I am really dumb when it comes to teasing someone else, but anyways its gud be with frens who do that (Only till i am not the object of their discussions :) ). I really wonder how ppl come out with dumber things to say!!! The roof of the telescope-room was movable, so a guy was being teased to sit on that roof and take jhoolas.. !! can anyone be dumber than this? But since everyone started laughing, i too did that he he and hi hi..
Tuesday, 11 April 2006


Its so very disgusting to hear about our govt's new proposal to give away abt 50% of the seats in premier indian institutes as quotas.. now where do general people's right of equality goes? Why cant admissions be based purely on merit? And as my experience goes, the students admitted through these quotas never really get benefitted.. they waste their 3-4 yrs in a college, trying to cope up with others, but in the end they were the ones without a job.. and i happen to know a person in my college who got admission thru quota with a fake ST certificate!! Though last heard he was still out of job...
Now think about doctors... people study real hard to get into AIIMS.. there r already just a few seats available.. and with this quota coming, the availability for general ppl will reduce further.. where will it lead to? un-talented ppl getting into, but without any talent.. and intelligent ppl left behind cos they dont deserve to be in a general category... And think about when u have some medical problem and want to see a doctor.. would you like to go to a less competitive doctor?can u trust ur life with such a person?
This quota is not limited to just doctors, engineers and MBAs.. it has also to be applied to NIFD and NSD.. thats fashion designing and drama colleges.. I just fail to understand, how can people with no talent get into these colleges? creativity surely doesnt come with a tag.. If these OBCs ppl are really talented they will get admitted despite of their caste status.. so why this quota for them?
I once had a classmate who belonged to SC but hated that tag.. she was an intelligent person and used to be the topper.. she always applied through general category.. Then i didnt knew why she did that.. but i think i understand now..
You can sign an online petition against this here. Sometimes these little gestures do make an effect.. A person i told abt this site said nothing will happen and he dint signed this.. but i guess, something happens or not is to be seen later, but u have to make an effort..
By the way did you know some states such as tamil nadu and karnataka already give state reservations of more than 50%.. And this reservation was proposed in 1990 too by the VP singh govt.. and this mandal commision proposal was the one which made him resign later.. Also, Last year, in Aug 2005, Supreme Court abolished all cast-based reservations in unaided private colleges. On december 21,2005 the lok sabha passed the 104th constitution amendment act 2005, rolling back the SC judgment by introducing a new clause to allow for reservations for SCs,Sts and OBCs in all colleges except minority colleges.
Now what can we do,when the ppl we elect are the ones who think only of their vote-banks and not of the country in general. Dont they realise they are taking our country backwards? Dont they have a conscious? Dont they wanto think in their retirement days that they did good for the country? I am dissapointed and disgusted at this decision of our govt.
Wednesday, 5 April 2006

Top 7 Definitions of Failure

If someone asked how can we define failure, we can simply say that.....
Failure is an important part of your success, as much so, as not repeating your mistakes. :)

1. "Failing to act on the dreams and visions you have for yourself"

2. "Not picking yourself up after you messes up"

3. "Hurting others for personal gain, whether on purpose or accident"

4. "Failing to understand WHY you are on this planet in the first place"

5. "Failing to understand that you are here to serve others, and in exchange your needs will be taken care of"

6. "Failing to continually raise your standards each day"

7. "Accepting complacency"

Hey ppl um a hell lot of busy these days.. so i may not be able to reply to ur comments or visit ur blog often... i'll catch-up with ya asap :) hope no one minds..

Friday, 31 March 2006

Swimming lessons..

I have recently started going to swimming class n its so much fun.. :) um really enjoying them.. Its been 4 days till now..
1st day was really stupid,We were asked to walk around the pool to get the feel of water.. and then learned to make bubbles in the water.. breath in.. dip into water n breathe out.. thats it..

2nd day we learned to float with wall as support..

3rd day we floated with a small boat into the water.. then did it without any support..

4th day we learned to kick legs.. first with wall, then with boat and finally without anything.. and it gave me such a high.. i am in water kicking legs n without anything.. :) now those whi know swimming will know that by kicking legs you dont go forward... that will come later with arm movements.. but nonetheless i am so very excited about this whole swimming affair that i cant hide my excitement that i am finally learning how to swim.. :)
Sunday, 26 March 2006

Shooting star

She lay on her back, facing the vast, dark, moonless sky. Watching the stars, numerous of them. There were two more stars tonight lying peacefulle on her cheekbones, just below her eyes. Their sparkle was more enticing than the pole star's itself.

In that lifeless night, she was not there to compete with stars for the brightest twinkle. She was waiting for a shooting star. She knew, then, her wish will come true. She desperately wanted to make a wish tonite. She was so desperate that she forgot to blink her eyes, leaving no chance to miss the shooting star's heavenly tail.

I am telling you a secret now, she wont see that shooting star tonight, because her wish is destined not to come true. For what she desires will never come to her. There are things in life, which you have to learn to live without. You have to bow your head and accept the things as they are. The sooner she realizes that, the happier she will be.

Will you ask her to let go of her desire? Will you ask her to accept the things as they are? I am only asking you to do this because i dont have courage enough to ask her myself. I dont think i'll manage to see her heart broken again. I dont think i'll stand there to see her tears again. I dont think i can bear her eyes on me, very still, with questions i wont be able to answer. I dont think i will be able to wipe her tears without having them myself.

I am her MIND.

A POEM i wrote before i wrote the above peice...

My heart is desperate
to get something,
MY mind already knows
I will get nothing.

Heart holds onto
a tiny ray of hope,
Mind doesnt care, for it knows
the difference between twig & rope.

Heart feels, cries,
emotes, wants, sympathise,
Mind sees only logic and reason
the only way to remain wise.

Heart always get hurt
time and time again,
Mind always gains experience
never feels the pain.

Now time's bidding
soon, one will outwin other,
and i'll rest in peace
with no confusions further..
Saturday, 25 March 2006


My papa has finally quit smoking after about 25 years of chain smoking n um soo happy.. :) though he dint smoked near us, i just feel elated to know he has left a bad habit.. though he chews a lot of ORBIT these days..
Monday, 20 March 2006

beat this...

I am home again.. n this time for a week :) (now those who cant be at their homes.. dont feel jealous :P) My bus journeys are always the one to write abt.. my most memorable one so far happened this time.. we were abt 8 ppl from our coll, all going to delhi n all met at the bus station itself.. we played dumb cherades n antakshari on the way.. dumb charades is as always so much fun.. the opponent team was no doubt better than us.. they even cracked movies like "OOPS!" and "Zinda".. we lost by 2 movis.. :(( we cdnt crack "rudali" and "changez khan".. the person who was enacting changez khan was stuck on tellin us about khan.. nd thrugh sher... sher khan.. ab use khana khane se khan karna chahiye tha na... :( and in case of rudali it was worse.. we had decided to give this movie to opponent but they gave it to us before.. :(.. one person thought she is saying this movie but didnt said it aloud cos he thought we r givin it next time so shd utter it.. lol..
antakshari was so much fun.. in a public bus we are shrieking and shouting and making so much noise.. i wonder why dint anyone asked us to stop.. :) a few ppl who were irritated did sat farthest from us... but didnt asked us to stop... :)
And as always a bus journey cant be complete without a few interesting ppl..A very old chap bought his hukka with him and smoked through all the journey.. towards the end of journey ( after we entered delhi) got into bus and started singing bhajans in his pathetic voice... ( i guess we dint sing like that wen playing antakshari.. :)) though why was he singing became clear wen he started asking for money.. novel ways of begging.. he was a young boy nd if he wd just start doing some work,um sure he cd have earned much more... sometimes i wonder why do ppl give these ppl anything? there would be no beggars if no one was giving them anything..

hey btw can anyone help me?? my blog seems a li'l odd in 800X600 resolution,, the middle post part is very squeezed here.. i tried to give a fixed size to the centre part but then the right column got shifted to the bottom left side.. and moreover the pics i post are of length suitable to higher resolution.. on 800X600 the pics overlap over right column.. can anyone tell me how to fix these probs?? is there a way to make alterations so that my page has fixed width and at lower resolution i can slide the lower slider to view the right part of the page?
Wednesday, 15 March 2006

A wish i hope will some day come true :)

I saw this movie a few days back and when i saw this scene i wished it'll happen to me too.. someday..


The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"
"Is your Daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes," came the answer.
"May I talk with her?"
Again, the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked the child, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes" whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the firemen," came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice, the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned, and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied, along with a muffled giggle
I am back from home and will be posting 2-3 posts by 2rrw :) so be ready
Friday, 10 March 2006

blah blah blah...

sorry guys for coming on my blog after quite a while.. my internet here sucks.. i couldnt surf the web for last 2 days.. :( i heard the server has crashed here.. and the network administrators here have become so crazy.. they have put rules for blocking anysite that contains "girl" in its name... so i cant open keshi's blog now.. and some other like "cheesenchutney.blogspot.com".. i couldnt even make a google search on "girl problems".. n yday i heard some biotech students complaining they cant search for some biological terms either.. like breast cancer..

And recently i started going to a new aerobics class in our campus.. its gud.. :) n now i dont feel guilty after having an icecream after lunch.. I attended an aerobics class back home.. n yday i got so excited.. itne josh se kiya meine.. that my calf muscles started aching like hell.. n i did lot of cycling yday in going back n forth to various places, due to some work/assignments i had to complete before i left for home.. so lower leg has swollen n is like a stone now.. cant walk without that little slump now... :( my mom will say kya tooti-footi halat mein aayi hai.. lol.. vaise the only thing gud abt yday was the weather.. lotsa clouds.. little dribblings too.. n no sun :) it was sooo romantic weather, only i didnot had a romantic partner with me.. :)
Sunday, 5 March 2006

Pleasures of life :)

Yesterday i spent a lot of time in garden n i was so happy after that...
walking barefoot on grass while chatting with frens... gossiping about others in our hostel.. :) some girl has got a new boyfriend.. a girl is so obnoxious... and how we have got stuck in this place.. so much of work to do.. we would have been better in doing a job.. how much we miss our homes.. mum used to do this and that.. yummy food.. soft bed.. airconditioned rooms ;)

But real pleasure was not in talking :) it was in walking bare feet on grass.. i did this after such a long time... grass was a bit wet.. we usually went to garden and sat there.. yday we kept our sandals aside n started walking round n round in the garden.. when we sat i was still playing with grass with my toe fingers.. i had fallen in luv with the touch of wet grass.. and the smell of earth at that time... oh i miss my home so much.. when my papa waters the 20-something plants in our home, this is the smell of that.. :( i am going home this weekend though :)
Friday, 3 March 2006

My test today...

Well, i had a test today which i knew will go bad.. but it went even worst than expected.. object oriented analysis and design is such a boring subject.. all that software engineering kinda stuff.. anyways we all went to the class.. test had to start at 11.. i was there at 10:55.. we waited the teacher to turn up but she dint.. we thought maybe she isnt well n thats why around half of the class isnt present.. but when our watches showed 11:05.. we all started worrying.. "is room no, correct?".. "anyone checked?".. "Yeah i checked, it is this room only".. "But i checked it 3 days before".. "lets go out n see".. "hey mam is coming here".. "She is calling us, she seems to be angry".. "Dont you read notices or what?" ( that was our angry ma'am).. I was a bit behind so dint listen to which room no did she tell us to go.. Now i started going where everyone else was going.. i walked up to the person ahead of me.. "Where do we have to go?".. "I dont know".. "what?".. "I am following them".. "ok".. We reach the class which was in a different block and about half a kilometer away.. We quickly took questn paper and answer sheets from the invigilator and sat to give exam.. it was already 11:18 in my watch.. I quickly scanned the paper and started writing whatever came to my mind.. By around 11:50 invigilator announced "Time is up.. please hand over the answersheets back".. Now all those who were late still had considerable portion left to attempt.. She came to us and snatched answer sheets from us.. We were like ma'am atleast give us 10 more minute.. "NO.. its your fault you came late, not mine i had put up the notice yesterday for the change of room blah blah blah"..

So, to sum it up i screwed my test.. which is not my fav subject anyways.. so probably its ok.. Also i recvd this today :) Tension lene ka nahi, sirf dene ka...

The moment you are in TENSION
You will lose your ATTENTION
Then you are in total CONFUSION
and you'll feel IRRITATION
This may spoil your personal RELATIONS
Ultimately, you won't get COOPERATION
And get things into COMPLICATION
Then you may raise CAUTION.
And you have to take MEDICATION
Why not try understanding the SITUATION
And try to think about the SOLUTION
Many problems will be solved by DISCUSSION
Which will work out better in your PROFESSION
Don't think this is a free SUGGESTION
It is only for your PREVENTION
If you understand my INTENTION
You'll never come again into TENSION!!!!!!

And people check out mah new comments section.. courtesy Nayan..
Thanx Nayan..
Thursday, 2 March 2006

Change time..

For all those who thought my blog was too loud... like a jungle... tadhkeela-bhadkeela ( too gaudy)... not easy to read.. etc. etc.

I wish i could go home this weekend.. missing it sooooooo much.. :( the trip was planned for this weekend but i have got so much workload that i cant go now.. *sobs* now no matter what i will go home next weekend...
Tuesday, 28 February 2006

sini ne..

Well the title of this post is not, in any way, related to wat i am going to write now.. it just happened to be the song i am hearing right now.. luv this song.. does anyone knows the maning of these turkish words?
hey ppl i've added a lot of add-ons on mah blog.. have u checked'em out? the hangman on the left is cool.. i am sure u all must have played that hollywood/bollywood kinda game where u hav to guess a movie n every wrong letter cut off one from "HOLLYWOD".. it is same kinda game.. And i also added this cute duckie.. a fren said.. iski mundi puri ghoom jaati hai..bas aur isme cute kya hai? ( its head rotates in 360 degrees.. so what else is cute in this?) he he.. lol..
And i've got addicted.. to "bournvita".. LOL.. it has got some superchargers, with some vitamins n minerals.. but thats not y i have got addicted to it.. i think it tastes yummy with milk.. *swipe my lips with my tongue*..
and i've also found a new time-pass, to watch peacocks.. there are quite a few of them in my campus.. They r absolutely gorgeous.. by the way did u know that male peacock has those lovely feathers, but female ones dont. It is cos the mail ones show'em off to female ones to attract them for mating.. isnt that cute.. LOL.. vaise they r so cautious when they walk.. they look left-right-left before crossing a road.. even when it is empty.. They fly very li'l, with their heavy wings they cant fly at higher altitudes.. so wat they do when they wants to reach upto some higher place is , they look at their destination two or three times before taking the final plunge ( i really dont know wat they actually think wen they luk like that, maybe thinking whether to jump or not, or maybe assess the distance..) anyways, i also saw a woodpecker yday.. it kept on doing that "tak-taka-tak-tak" continuously on a tree.. i felt like saying to him that please dont be so hard on urself.. ur will break ur beak.. but no, he wont listen.. if he is so hell-bent in breaking himself then let it be.. why am i so worried...
vaise here it is this "patjhad" (fall) season going on and watching roads full of dried,yellow neem leaves feels so artistic.. like straight from a scenery.. and there r sooo many bouganvillae plants here.. with bright pink, yellow, white flowers.. they remind me so much of baunta, in delhi where i went for my early morning jogs.. anyways lot of nature gazing has happened lemme go back to my studies i have a test 2rrw.. so chao for now :)

What am I to you ?

What am I to you
Tell me darling true
To me you are the sea
Vast as you can be
And deep the shade of blue

When you're feeling low
To whom else do you go
See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so

If my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
I never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
I love you when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you

Yah well if my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
Never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
Could you find a love in me
Could you carve me in a tree
Don't fill my heart with lies

I will you love when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you
What am I to you
What am I to you

---Norah Jones
Friday, 24 February 2006

My personality.. decoded..

Its such a great feeling to be up and doing something.. i have recovered from my sickness now.. feeling chirpy.. Flip side being i missed a couple of assignments and now ihave to do them as well as the new ones.. Now i hope i dont get down withllness again by getting over-worked!!! I just slept and slept in last 2 days...I have to get my haemoglobin checked nd i am so damn scared of the needles that i keep putting it off.. i may not even go :D.. instead i'll start eating apples and drink juice daily...And during this time I gave some stupid tests on blogthings and posting them here.. I happen to see a movie today.. Though i have loads of work to do i just cdnt resist watching it, especially wen it is right on my desktop.. its called "Along came polly" dunno how popular this movie is but i find it quite cute.. vaise rubin just kinda left his work n all to go after jennifer aniston((i forgot her name in d movie :D.. i just saw it 10 mins before)).. i wonder does that happen in real life too.. like suddenly u feel everything for a one person.. dont want to let her/him go.. run after them like crazy.. i've never seen anything like that in real life.. Anyways here goes all my blog-thing results---

Your Personality Is
Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.
You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.
You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.
Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.
You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.
Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.
In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.
At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.
With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.
As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.
On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

You Are a Newborn Soul

You are tolerant, accepting, and willing to give anyone a chance.
On the flip side, you're easy to read and easily influenced by others.
You have a fresh perspective on life, and you can be very creative.
Noconformist and nontraditional, you've never met anyone who's like you.

Inventive and artistic, you like to be a trendsetter.
You have an upbeat spirit and you like almost everything.
You make friends easily and often have long standing friendships.
Implusive and trusting, you fall in love a little too easily.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

Your Five Variable Love

Propensity for Monogamy:

Your propensity for monogamy is medium.
In general, you prefer to have only one love interest.
But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long!
There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering.

Experience Level:

Your experience level is high.
You've loved, lost, and loved again.
You have had a wide range of love experiences.
And when the real thing comes along, you know it!


Your dominance is low.
This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced.
You know a relationship is not about getting your way.
And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom.


Your cynicism is medium.
You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love...
But you've definitely been burned enough to know better.
You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist.


Your independence is low.
This doesn't mean you're dependent in relationships..
It does mean that you don't have any problem sharing your life.
In your opinion, the best part of being in love is being together.

Your Five Factor Personality


You have high extroversion.
You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends.
You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation.
Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!"


You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.


You have high agreeableness.
You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.
Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.
You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.


You have low neuroticism.
You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.
Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.
Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.
Five Factor Personality Test

By the way, I found every bit of this to be true... Now everyone reading this knows wat i am like :D.. hmm.. is it bad???